The Story Store II: Harry Potter
by ArenLuxon
Summary: A collection of conversations between Miss Rowling and the Story Store attendants.
1. Chapter 1: Quidditch

"And how do you write that?" the boy asked, typing frantically.

"With a Q, Quidditch."

"I'm sorry to say this, Miss Rowling, but this just straight up makes no sense."

"How so?"

"Well. First of all, what's with this," he checked the monitor. "Snitch? They have to catch it and then they get 150 points. Isn't that a little overpowered? It basically renders all effort of the other players meaningless. It's like holding an election and then picking the losing candidate based upon a weird election rule."

"Well, it's possible that there is a significant enough difference that the other team still wins." This boy was already giving her ideas for subsequent books.

"But then why would the other seeker even try to catch the snitch? They could just keep playing."

"Maybe he wants to settle the match on his own terms." That would be a good story element. Ending things on your own terms instead of going for the win. She liked that.

"Ok. But," the boy persisted. "As long as the snitch isn't caught, the match continues, right? Then how do they plan these things in? Are classes suspended until someone catches the snitch? Or do they cancel exams, because apparently, this is something that can be done quite lightly in your world."

"Well, don't bother yourself with details like that. Really long matches are very rare."

"It's not just that. What are these… bludgers doing in the game? They sound really dangerous. Not something eleven year olds should play with."

"Well, how else could Dobby try to save Harry in the next book?"

"Dobby? You mean the midget slave who tries to save Harry by almost killing him?"

"That's the one."

He sighed. "Look, Miss Rowling, I really advise you to do some research. Look at this: "The first world cup played out in 1473 between Transylvania and Flanders." May I remind you that Flanders existed in no way in the fifteenth century? Or is there some weird time travel in your world?"

Time travel. Now that was certainly a great idea.

"And what about this," the boy continued.

[DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL AT THE TABLE.  
It contains Your new Nimbus Two Thousand, but I don't want everybody knowing you've got a broomstick or they'll all want one. Oliver Wood will meet you tonight on the Quidditch field at seven o' clock for your first training session.  
 _Professor M. McGonagall]_

The boy sighed heavily. "First of all. How is it not obvious he got a broomstick? Wouldn't a parcel formed like that draw attention? Or wouldn't anyone else notice during the game he got a broom? You know, the game, _where the entire school is present_. And don't you think it's extremely unfair that a professor is giving expensive broomsticks to some students. Hell, why are there no rules about broomsticks in the first place. Are you telling me rich kids can just fly expensive, superior broomsticks and completely dominate the match?"

Buying expensive broomsticks to gain an unfair advantage. She felt the ideas bubbling up.

"Look," the boy concluded. "If I were a publisher, I would never publish this."

"But you're not, aren't you?" She said, smirking.

"No, I'm not," the boy confirmed. He remembered the tagline of the Story Store.  
 _The Writer is Always Right._

"Well," the boy said, finishing up. "Do we meet again next week? When you've decided on a title."

"I already told you: _the Philosopher's Stone._ "

"And I already told you that Americans won't get it. They'll want to change it into something easier, like, _the Sorcerer's Stone_ or something. That would be really confusing, right?"

She shrugged.

Some people really had to sort out their priorities.


	2. Chapter 2: Redemption

_A/N: this chapter was inspired by a tumblr post by audaciousescapades and cameralinz._

 _/_

Miss Rowling leaned back in her chair and sipped from her tea. It was the perfect temperature, as always. The Story Store really had a magical way of making tea.

Knowing them, it was possible there was actual magic involved somehow.

There were two people on the other side of the desk. One was the female owner of the store, who had taken her usual form which looked like a blond twenty-ish year old woman with spectacles. Next to her was one of her assistants. This one always looked like a gangly boy who appeared around sixteen years old (even though he clearly had to be _much_ older than this), with freckles, red hair and green eyes that constantly moved when he was nervous. With his freckles and red hair, he reminded her a bit of Ron.

"Uhum," the boy cleared his throat. "May I ask you something, Miss Rowling?"

"Sure," she said.

"Why did Lupin have to die?"

Miss Rowling frowned. "Well, of course he had to die. Isn't it obvious why?"

"Uhm, not really," the boy said. "Why did you have to kill my favorite character?"

The woman next to him hissed something she didn't quite catch. It sounded like parseltongue to her. Did she just say his name?

No, that wasn't possible. No one at the Story Store had a name of any kind. Not that she knew at least.

She intended to say 'it's okay', but she was too caught up in what he had said.

"You mean," Miss Rowling said. "Your favorite character is _not_ Luna? Ye, what is wrong with you?" She looked a bit disgusted.

"Well, Luna is a close second," the boy admitted. "But that doesn't answer my question."

She sighed. "Look. Remus is part of the Marauder Mirror Metaphor, he was bound to die at some point."

"The _what_?"

She took a deep breath. This would take a while.

"Remus was the smart one, the geeky one that was never particularly popular, the one that followed the rules. Because if this, he never had many friends and he never dared telling the few friends he _did_ have they were out going too far. Remus felt terribly guilty about their dangerous nightly adventures which endangered everyone in Hogsmeade, but never told this to James and Sirius because he was afraid of losing them. This was his big fatal flaw.

James on the other hand was popular, a talented Quidditch player, handsome and a natural born leader. Because of this, he became an arrogant asshole.

If you look at Sirius, you'll notice he had his flaws as well. His family despised him as a blood-traitor so he felt lonely. He became convinced the world despised him, so he despised them back. He ran away at sixteen and where did he go? To James, his only friend. Sirius yearned for approval and acceptance and in order to get this, he started bullying Snape.

Lastly, Peter Pettigrew was small, not very talented and deeply unpopular. He wanted to stand in the spotlight, so he grabbed the first chance he ever got and betrayed his friends." She took another gulp of delicious tea. "This leaves two important people from the past: Snape and Lily.

Snape is obvious. He was bullied and because of this, he chose to despise everyone and destroy as much lives as he could, that's why he joined Voldemort: he wanted everyone to die. He only realised his mistakes after Lily and James were killed.

Lily's fatal flaw is less obvious, but it's still there. She dated James, even though she knew he was bullying her childhood friend. She let Snape down even when she was in a perfect position to help him. She pursued her own selfish desires and cut off her ties with the only friend she ever had before coming to Hogwarts."

"So, that's why all these characters had to die?" The boy asked.

"They have to be redeemed," Miss Rowling explained. "All six of them have a counterpart in the new generation. Someone in a very similar situation but who acted differently.

Hermione is Lupin. She's smart and cares for the rules, but unlike him, she was never afraid to tell her friends they were out of bounds. She considered being a good person more important than avoiding arguments with her friends. She redeemed him by not making the same mistakes despite being in a pretty much identical situation. We can do the right thing regardless of our situation.

Harry mirrors James, quite literally. He's the popular one, natural born leader, naturally good at Quidditch. But Harry never became an arrogant asshole. He chose to use his popularity to found Dumbledore's Army, to teach people to defend themselves, to help the weak stand up for themselves. And so James was redeemed as well.

Ron is Sirius' counterpart. He was despised by his peers, the full blood wizards for being a 'blood-traitor'. He was completely overshadowed by his brothers, but he didn't work it out on his friends, he didn't start lashing out to others. He chose another path and learned that being the big hero isn't that important and that helping _outside_ of the spotlight comes with its own rewards (kissing Hermione is certainly a big reward.)

Neville mirrors Peter Pettigrew: he wasn't talented at all, was never in the spotlight, but instead of betraying his friends, he chose to work hard and eventually, he succeeded.

Luna represents what Snape could have been. She was bullied for being different, but she chose to say 'screw them'. She remained her own self, reveling in her uniqueness instead of rejected it for approval.

And finally, Ginny mirrors Lily. She came up for Luna when no one else would, because she liked her and because she did not take the easy way of looking the other way.

To metaphorically righten the past mistakes of their counterparts, to show that people can _make_ a different choice, can choose not to slip to the darkness even in hard circumstances, the past has to die. To be redeemed by the new generation, the old one has to die, that's why Peter Pettigrew died, that's why Snape and Sirius died, and that's why Lupin dies." She put down her, now-empty, cup.

"But you couldn't do it, could you?" The boy said. "You couldn't kill Lupin."

"No," she admitted. "I kept pushing it back and back, and eventually, I reached the final battle, the only battle left. So I quickly brushed over it and only realized my mistake later on. Lupin deserved a better death. He deserved more than a vague mention of his demise somewhere at the end."

"And so the future redeems you as well."

"Yeah," she said. "The movie pulled it off perfectly. Remus and Tonks reaching for each other, killed before they could hold hands. And then when Harry told him about his son, Remus told him that 'others would tell him what his mother and father died for. And one day, he would understand'. So in the end, Lupin got the death he deserved. The one I couldn't give them."

"And so, everyone gets redeemed eventually."


	3. Chapter 3: Triwizard Troubles

"You know," the freckled boy said. "For a game that's basically a spectator event, the Triwizard Tournament doesn't seem to care much about its spectators. The first task looks very dangerous for the audience, especially since you mention the game was suspended after a basilisk, sorry _cockatrice_ , went on a rampage and injured the jury. You would think that when reviving the tournament, they had kept this in mind."

"Well," the writer said. "The tasks were supposed to represent the four elements so dragons seemed the natural choice for fire."

"And water was the second task? All very fun, but what exactly was the audience doing? Where they just watching an empty lake? Clearly they were because Dumbledore had to ask the head of the mermaids what happened down there."

"Uhm yeah, now that you mention it." Miss Rowling said, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat .

"And for the third task they just watched the outside of the maze, presumably. Otherwise they would have noticed what fake Mad-Eye Moody was doing."

"Good point."

"And please remind me why he had to go through such lengths to get Harry to the graveyard. He could have just turned his teacup in a portkey. Your entire plot is basically redundant."

"Well, you know…"

"Your second book had a huge snake crawling around in the plumbing. Seriously, how big are those pipes that a monster like that can crawl in them? And wouldn't they be filled with water? And how exactly did that snake get in and out of those pipes? And isn't it a bit too convenient no one saw the snake crawling in and out the pipes? And how crazy is it that no one died? Almost like the entire school had temporarily plot armour. What are the odds?"

"Well, book three-"  
"Don't get me started on your time travel plot please. Or can I mention how the Weasley twins never saw Peter Pettigrew lying next to Ron?"

"Book five-"

"For one of the smartest characters, Dumbledore completely ignoring Harry with no explanation whatsoever seems like a pretty stupid idea. And what's up with your stupid prophecy? Are you telling me no one else could just throw a killing curse at Voldemort's head in the end? Harry didn't even destroy half of the horcruxes. The ring was done by Dumbledore, the cup by Hermione, the snake by Neville and the medaillon by Ron. The diadem was destroyed by the fire and the horcrux within his body by Voldemort himself. He destroyed _one_ horcrux, and he didn't even know it was a horcrux at the time. Your Chosen One is surprisingly _not_ involved in killing Voldemort."

"Book six-"

"Don't you think that all three of them were extremely stupid? They never realized Snape was the half-blood prince? Come on, please. You're looking for a master in potions and spells and you found the book in Snape's old classroom. Wouldn't he be the first one you think off? And we know Snape does share his improvements since he always writes down the instructions on the blackboard, yet even super-nerd Hermione never actually realized those were different from the book, even though she knows her schoolbooks _by heart_ , that doesn't make sense."

"That's enough," a voice said.

She turned around and saw a blond woman in a tight business suit entering the room. She turned to the author. "My apologies, Miss Rowling."  
"It's okay."

"The Story Store does not sell criticism," she reminded her assistant. "Or rambling."

"I understand, Miss," the boy mumbled.

"Besides," she added. "Miss Rowling gave me a perfectly reasonable explanation for the plot of Goblet of Fire."

"She did?" The boy seemed very surprised.

"The reason they didn't turn Harry's teacup into a portkey," Miss Rowling said, folding her hands over the desk. "Is because his death couldn't raise suspicion."

The boy was quiet for a moment.

"If Harry had died or disappeared in suspicious circumstances," she continued. "It would raise suspicion. Everyone would immediately assume Voldemort had returned and as is mentioned later on, keeping it secret is the key in his return to power. If Harry died during the Triwizard Tournament, no one would find this suspicious since he's just a boy in a very dangerous tournament. Voldemort could continue to recruit and perhaps win the war before the others even realised there was a war going on at all."

"But his plan failed."

"Only partly. Even though it failed, Voldemort gained a massive advantage. Rita Skeever already portrayed Harry as an attention-seeking liar, which worked so well even Ron started to believe it for a moment. All the ministry had to do was continue to build upon this story, after all, it was much harder to believe anyone else would put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire. Why would they gain with that? As you mentioned, the plan sounds far too convoluted. If someone was capable of putting his name in the Goblet wouldn't they also be capable of killing Harry, or, as you so rightly put it, change his teacup into a portkey? The convoluted nature of the plan makes it harder to convince people it is true. Voldemort is smarter than you give him credit for."

"Well I wouldn't know since Harry is about as observant as a sack of potatoes."

"Obviously." Miss Rowling said, smiling. "How else would you be able to come up with all these fan theories?"


End file.
